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My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

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mm		#21	[-]
Posts: 9581 (07/06/2008 5:04 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	TR2119 wrote: Question - if she just went on Wednesday and everything was fine, what could cause this all of a sudden? There's no one thing that you can put a diagnosis on. Miscarriages happen. Often you will hear people say that a miscarriage is nature's way of roming a child that had some kind of birth defect and sometimes it is--- but your friend will most likely never know why she lost this particular child. I urge NOT to say things like "You can try again," or "Something wasn't right with this one,". Just hold her, tell her you're sorry and you hurt with her and you're there for whatever she needs.
TR2119		#22	[-]
Posts: 8226 (11/21/1997 3:15 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	mm - that's good advice because I probably would've said something along those lines, but with the best intentions.
Firefox Goddess		#23	[-]
Posts: 2937 (07/06/2008 5:14 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	There's no guarantee that she is having a miscarriage. She could be having some kind of other physiological problem. She could have a cyst rupture or a fibroid. There are a lot of other things that can happen while a woman is pregnant that can cause cramping and bleeding that do not mean fetal demise. Let's just hope that it's one of these other conditions and not a miscarriage.
glitterkittyjen		#24	[-]
Posts: 574 (07/06/2008 5:15 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I had a good friend who had tried and tried to have a baby and then attempted IVF and finally got pregnant. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later. She ended up miscarrying and it was the saddest and most difficult situation. When I had the baby she even went through a depression knowing that her baby was due when mine was. Years after the fact she told me that the thing that bothered her most about the miscarriage was when people had acted like it didn't happen. There is validation in even the littlest "I'm sorry". People don't expect you to say the perfect thing. Offer your ear, hands and shoulder and she will appreciate it more than you know.
TR2119		#25	[-]
Posts: 8229 (07/07/2008 12:24 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Just got back from the hospital with her. She was there for like 7 hours or more. She had some type of rupture where the placenta came out or something, but they said she is okay and there is only minimal internal bleeding and it's fine. She is just out of work for a week and so far, so good. She still had cramping when we left, but they said it's normal.
Jenny Cide		#26	[-]
Posts: 15877 (07/07/2008 12:27 AM) JJB Angel '07 Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Just DON'T say anything like "Don't worry, you can try again" or "Well, you can have more kids!" What matters to her right now is this particular baby. Any reference to future kids will come off as insensitive and probably hurt her. Just let her know you're there for her and express your sympathy.
dlistedceleb		#27	[-]
Posts: 15657 (07/07/2008 12:32 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	So she didn't miscarry?
TR2119		#28	[-]
Posts: 8231 (07/07/2008 12:34 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	No. But they said there is a chance these symptoms could come back and in that case she has to come back to the ER asap. Not tonight, necessarily. In the future.
dlistedceleb		#29	[-]
Posts: 15659 (07/07/2008 12:35 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Well thats good news. Hopefully everything works out with her pregnancy.
TR2119		#30	[-]
Posts: 8233 (07/07/2008 12:35 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Yeah thank god.
ShaZamY		#31	[-]
Posts: 8316 (07/07/2008 12:50 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Wow thank god she didn't miss carry, I was so nervous reading the thread.
papanurse		#32	[-]
Posts: 7 (07/07/2008 12:56 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	From years of experience as a professional nurse, the best advice I can give you is to give your friend a hug, and let her know that you are there to talk, to cry or even just to spend time with if needed. If she "babbles", let her ramble and work through the pain. She is probably scared right now, even if the baby is ok. I know this from professional and personal experience as well (an ex-fiancee of mine lost two babies, both at the two month periods). My current girlfriend is 15 weeks pregnant and we have had a couple of scares during the time. Fortunately, the baby is healthy and doing well. You are an awesome friend. The best thing that you can do is to just be there. I'm glad to see that your friend is doing better, BTW. Good luck!

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