My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (papanurse) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:56:10 GMT

From years of experience as a professional nurse, the best advice I can give you is to give your friend a hug, and let her know that you are there to talk, to cry or even just to spend time with if needed. If she "babbles", let her ramble and work through the pain. She is probably scared right now, even if the baby is ok. I know this from professional and personal experience as well (an ex-fiancee of mine lost two babies, both at the two month periods). My current girlfriend is 15...

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (ShaZamY) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:50:41 GMT

Wow thank god she didn't miss carry, I was so nervous reading the thread.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (TR2119) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:35:44 GMT

Yeah thank god.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (dlistedceleb) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:35:11 GMT

Well thats good news. Hopefully everything works out with her pregnancy.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (TR2119) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:34:06 GMT

No. But they said there is a chance these symptoms could come back and in that case she has to come back to the ER asap. Not tonight, necessarily. In the future.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (dlistedceleb) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:32:36 GMT

So she didn't miscarry?

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (Jenny Cide) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:27:10 GMT

Just DON'T say anything like "Don't worry, you can try again" or "Well, you can have more kids!" What matters to her right now is this particular baby. Any reference to future kids will come off as insensitive and probably hurt her. Just let her know you're there for her and express your sympathy.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (TR2119) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:24:30 GMT

Just got back from the hospital with her. She was there for like 7 hours or more. She had some type of rupture where the placenta came out or something, but they said she is okay and there is only minimal internal bleeding and it's fine. She is just out of work for a week and so far, so good. She still had cramping when we left, but they said it's normal.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (glitterkittyjen) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 17:15:04 GMT

I had a good friend who had tried and tried to have a baby and then attempted IVF and finally got pregnant. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later. She ended up miscarrying and it was the saddest and most difficult situation. When I had the baby she even went through a depression knowing that her baby was due when mine was. Years after the fact she told me that the thing that bothered her most about the miscarriage was when people had acted like it didn't happen. There is validation...

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (Firefox Goddess) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 17:14:16 GMT

There's no guarantee that she is having a miscarriage. She could be having some kind of other physiological problem. She could have a cyst rupture or a fibroid. There are a lot of other things that can happen while a woman is pregnant that can cause cramping and bleeding that do not mean fetal demise. Let's just hope that it's one of these other conditions and not a miscarriage.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (TR2119) — Tue, 07 Jan 1997 15:15:38 GMT

mm - that's good advice because I probably would've said something along those lines, but with the best intentions.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (mm) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 17:04:23 GMT

TR2119 wrote:
Question - if she just went on Wednesday and everything was fine, what could cause this all of a sudden?

There's no one thing that you can put a diagnosis on. Miscarriages happen. Often you will hear people say that a miscarriage is nature's way of roming a child that had some kind of birth defect and sometimes it is--- but your friend will most likely never know why she lost this...

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (TR2119) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 17:03:18 GMT

They said they were going to wait to tell the daughter until later on in the pregnancy, but they say things to her like "You want a little sister?" or "You gonna play with the baby?" To me, that is basically telling her. I asked her once if she wants a little brother or sister someday, and she said sister. Then she ran to her mom saying, "Mommy I want a sister!" (This was...

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (alwaysjsgirl2000) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:59:42 GMT

Oh and alot of people forget the other kid, in this case a four year old daughter. May not think it but she knows whats going on, I work with four year olds. They understand much more than they are given credit for. She's going to need someone too.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (alwaysjsgirl2000) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:56:09 GMT

Just be there for them, they will need you.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (TR2119) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:55:33 GMT

Question - if she just went on Wednesday and everything was fine, what could cause this all of a sudden?

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (TR2119) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:54:57 GMT

alwaysjsgirl2000 wrote:
Just let her know your there, I think she all she needs is someone to listen that is neutral in the situation. I mean not a husband or family member because they are going tobe going though enough themselves. Just be there to listen and to talk .

True. Her husband is going to be SO crushed. He lost his sister when she was a baby and still cries about it, and now he is losing his own baby....

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (alwaysjsgirl2000) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:53:25 GMT

I agree.

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (green lights 30) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:52:21 GMT

EJFiederer wrote:

Just go see her when you can, and hug her. I think this is one of those times where no words say it all!!

Re: My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (alwaysjsgirl2000) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:52:16 GMT

Just let her know your there, I think she all she needs is someone to listen that is neutral in the situation. I mean not a husband or family member because they are going tobe going though enough themselves. Just be there to listen and to talk .

My friend thinks she lost her baby - Advice?

feeds@yuku.com (TR2119) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:22:54 GMT

She is at the ER now waiting to see her dr, but she is bleeding and cramping. She talked to her dr on the phone and she said it sounds like it may be a miscarriage.

If it is a miscarriage, how do I handle the situation? I never dealt with this situation before so I don't know what to say or do for her.

EDIT: It's 1:30AM. Just got back from the hospital with her. She was there for like 7 hours or more. She had some type of rupture where the placenta came out or...